Emotions run through me.
Memories of past mistakes.
Should I go back to who I was.
Should I stay the new me.
No one can understand the hurt I’ve been through.
No one can see the pain behind my smile.
The hurt I hide behind my eyes.
The laugh you see isn’t a real laugh.
It’s gotten to where I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t pretending. Wasn’t hiding a part of me. A side of me. The person who I really am. I wanna be every part of me, but will I be able to recognize who I was before. Will I see the reflection of me or of someone else. How will I know which is the real side of me and which is a pretense.

After all I’ve been through you decide to be a friend.
After I’ve started to finally put myself back together you wanna see how I’m doing.
When I don’t have to fake my smile you wanna come talk to me.
Where were you when I needed you.
When I was at my lowest.
I was alone. I am alone. I have no one but me. So no. No I won’t let you close enough to hurt me. You were fine without me. If I can’t count on you at my lowest I won’t see you at my best.
This time around I’m going to be my own savior. I don’t need you. I to through things on my own. So ill stand alone. On my own two feet. That’s my feelings. That’s my story. That’s my life as Nick. ⚓💎